It's not really the fear of t-h-a-t aging as you've thought..
Okay, let me describe here
I was rushing from school to the service centre to get an exchange for my iphone
Then i went back to home's nearby food centre to grab my simple beehoon and some veggies and egg and etc side dishes
But while i was crossing th road, I happened to notice someone strangely familiar holding a bag of groceries. The petite, fragile, aunt joyce was there, going to cross the road
What a surprise
In fact, i was really, really rushing... but I can't just leave her there, right?
Then i held her hand and took the grocery bag from her and held with the other hand
A bit heavy ...@@ Boy, she's tough!
Anyway the first word she said after smiling at me was eh? I was going to take a cab because I feel I can't make it
Actually to walk back to our house, it would roughly take 10mins only
Then she said she still have the neck pain from that day's sprain
So I decided to ask her to go see the doctor (as I had called my mom earlier and she said Aunt Joyce needs muscle relaxant)
Then came back home, I quickly cleared my laundry...And I need to wash another load actually :(
Procastinatiomn and too hefty work recently
ANyway, this is not my point yet...:S I'm babbling so much again~
Flashbacks...
The moment i saw her crossing the road, I suddenly realise she's very elderly
Scares me
Really...
I don't want to be like that...
It's just too...............scaryy~
Monday, October 22, 2012
Sunday, September 16, 2012
hmmm..smelling flowers?
looking at my just-previous blog made me subconsciously smile, but with bitter feelings too
*admitting
hmmmm...:P
actually, i realised that it ain't as simple loh..i was just about to running + enjoying the view along the way, but suddenly got stopped by strangers asking me not to indulge in the flowers anymore because the land is going to be re-developed- means no more flowers/tress/passers-by walking-the-dogs/etc
in fact, the sentence mentioned above is just a statement and an irrelevant example that i could think of to convey my current feelings
and life
#meansidontmeantherealthinghere
so so confused at the moment
the choice that i currently-in-the-midst-of-making....so terrible?
i never doubted my choice/ path all along
though i care a lot on what they tell me
but asking me to go against my own will
is something that i doubt i wanna do at this age, anymore
so many choices/ opinions given earlier didn't benefit me
but i really don't know why i care so much on their opinion at the moment
when my feelings' telling me it's supposed to be right and they don't know the real situation
bla bla bla
#imblabbingagain
=.="
in fact, i'm disappointed with myself too...
but it's ever fair to compare, right? so why? all my life i'm never into comparing because i know every individual is different
i want to go against their will!!
oops
i'm actually having writer's block so reach here to babble a while
tata
*admitting
hmmmm...:P
actually, i realised that it ain't as simple loh..i was just about to running + enjoying the view along the way, but suddenly got stopped by strangers asking me not to indulge in the flowers anymore because the land is going to be re-developed- means no more flowers/tress/passers-by walking-the-dogs/etc
in fact, the sentence mentioned above is just a statement and an irrelevant example that i could think of to convey my current feelings
and life
#meansidontmeantherealthinghere
so so confused at the moment
the choice that i currently-in-the-midst-of-making....so terrible?
i never doubted my choice/ path all along
though i care a lot on what they tell me
but asking me to go against my own will
is something that i doubt i wanna do at this age, anymore
so many choices/ opinions given earlier didn't benefit me
but i really don't know why i care so much on their opinion at the moment
when my feelings' telling me it's supposed to be right and they don't know the real situation
bla bla bla
#imblabbingagain
=.="
in fact, i'm disappointed with myself too...
but it's ever fair to compare, right? so why? all my life i'm never into comparing because i know every individual is different
i want to go against their will!!
oops
i'm actually having writer's block so reach here to babble a while
tata
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
balancing between fun and responsibilities
trying to balance life indulgences and responsibilities at the same time...instead of running in a marathon only- why not run along and smell the flowers at the same time huh? =)
Monday, June 25, 2012
weird weird lately
Yeah..is really weird weird case lately
Wondering what's wrong with myself too
Been irritated easier than before
eg 1:
bought breakfast for her as she sprained her back last week, wed i think, and she insisted i take the money every morning until saturday morning, when she actually handed me the money. i was zzzzz, and asked her, why so calculative?
erm, of coz i won't take the money la..i am as stubborn as a cow okay!
eg2:
washed toilet for her just only (yes I know is late at this hour, but at first i thought want to leave the bleach on as disinfectant until the next morning (previously i scrubbed hard at the walls and i think it's energy draining, especially for someone like me who always OT in school). finally decided to wait about 5 mins and rinse and scrub the walls off (after spraying with bleach), actually this is very easy. This was what i used to do at home, and glad that I have with the freedom of without my parents complaining of the bleach smell. I was worried that the stench would go into my landlady's room since you know lah, this is not back home where every compound is much bigger.
BTW, i did the more environmental-friendly way before by using vinegar, but the stench was really strong. I didn't dare to use it anymore already.
Anyway, just now, she came out at this hour to the toilet (coz she heard water running), and only to realise that i was using the toilet. and washed the toilet. she said, you only give me the rental, this is not your job. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I feel really iritated loh. Perhaps she is also with bad mood since her back pain will take time to heal.
I know she's in bad mood because I'm always not at home- either work late or loiter around :S
What can I do leh?
What is wrong with me lah?
sigh
Okayla, just lamenting here. My monday blues is still on and I'm supposed to hand something soon but i wasn't doing anything related to it at all.
=.="
#stressedbecauseofworkandthuslookingforhouseworktodo
Too comfy at home-aka-room already
Good nite! :P
Wondering what's wrong with myself too
Been irritated easier than before
eg 1:
bought breakfast for her as she sprained her back last week, wed i think, and she insisted i take the money every morning until saturday morning, when she actually handed me the money. i was zzzzz, and asked her, why so calculative?
erm, of coz i won't take the money la..i am as stubborn as a cow okay!
eg2:
washed toilet for her just only (yes I know is late at this hour, but at first i thought want to leave the bleach on as disinfectant until the next morning (previously i scrubbed hard at the walls and i think it's energy draining, especially for someone like me who always OT in school). finally decided to wait about 5 mins and rinse and scrub the walls off (after spraying with bleach), actually this is very easy. This was what i used to do at home, and glad that I have with the freedom of without my parents complaining of the bleach smell. I was worried that the stench would go into my landlady's room since you know lah, this is not back home where every compound is much bigger.
BTW, i did the more environmental-friendly way before by using vinegar, but the stench was really strong. I didn't dare to use it anymore already.
Anyway, just now, she came out at this hour to the toilet (coz she heard water running), and only to realise that i was using the toilet. and washed the toilet. she said, you only give me the rental, this is not your job. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I feel really iritated loh. Perhaps she is also with bad mood since her back pain will take time to heal.
I know she's in bad mood because I'm always not at home- either work late or loiter around :S
What can I do leh?
What is wrong with me lah?
sigh
Okayla, just lamenting here. My monday blues is still on and I'm supposed to hand something soon but i wasn't doing anything related to it at all.
=.="
#stressedbecauseofworkandthuslookingforhouseworktodo
Too comfy at home-aka-room already
Good nite! :P
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Never grow old?
Feel like I've never grown old enough, with pretty dramatic changes in mood now and then
And changing passions
Getting bored with used-to-want-to things
As I go on with this, i feel like doing something else
And so on
Been rushing almost entire this study journey
Is it really testing my patience or determination, I wonder?
Realised that my endurance is really low at times. Perhaps is due to lower motivations?
Or is it because of pessimism as I go on? Eh. The faster u want something to be done, the worse it became
Perhaps also, it's about how much I treasure flying time at times
So emo post today Hor?
In fact, it's not really emo actually, just reflecting. I realised that from day 1 itself, I've always complained of insufficient time and until now
Zzzzzz
It's like I'm always on roller- coaster, and this is totally different from my few months journey during my previous work trip many years ago, where everything was slow and relaxing and.. Whatever=='
Don't know how much more I've got to learn tk be better and more determined and matured
Have to think more wisely I guess
Ie, I'm not wasting my time here. I must not work to enjoy only. Arrghhh.. Seemed hard for someone playful like me actually
When all I thought was if I could do something else more meaningful, and things would be better
Perhaps is some weird crisis feelings going over me right now
Whatever it is, all the best lah~
One more, really really salute those that kept meeting bumps and still so so so determined!! I know who you are;) :*
Will keep learning!!!!
And changing passions
Getting bored with used-to-want-to things
As I go on with this, i feel like doing something else
And so on
Been rushing almost entire this study journey
Is it really testing my patience or determination, I wonder?
Realised that my endurance is really low at times. Perhaps is due to lower motivations?
Or is it because of pessimism as I go on? Eh. The faster u want something to be done, the worse it became
Perhaps also, it's about how much I treasure flying time at times
So emo post today Hor?
In fact, it's not really emo actually, just reflecting. I realised that from day 1 itself, I've always complained of insufficient time and until now
Zzzzzz
It's like I'm always on roller- coaster, and this is totally different from my few months journey during my previous work trip many years ago, where everything was slow and relaxing and.. Whatever=='
Don't know how much more I've got to learn tk be better and more determined and matured
Have to think more wisely I guess
Ie, I'm not wasting my time here. I must not work to enjoy only. Arrghhh.. Seemed hard for someone playful like me actually
When all I thought was if I could do something else more meaningful, and things would be better
Perhaps is some weird crisis feelings going over me right now
Whatever it is, all the best lah~
One more, really really salute those that kept meeting bumps and still so so so determined!! I know who you are;) :*
Will keep learning!!!!
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