What hurts most..

My last Penang fieldtrip for this year was the most enlightening one.

It was sort of painful too.

We had visited a hydrocephalic baby. It's the last birth defect case that I had visited for my current job.
I did not capture her photo but I found a substitute from here.



(from http://www.lucinafoundation.org/assets/hydrocephalus.jpg)

The history of this baby is still unknown. It could possibly due to the solvent exposure near her living place released by printing industries. According to my supervisor, her survival rate is low. Her spine was malformed.
She had several diagnoses, including kidney problems.
At such a tender age of six months plus, and she is suffering from all these.
Why????

It really hurts to see such a beautiful and cute baby to be suffering from this.
She is a really cheerful girl.
Though she's suffering in silence.
When we played with her, she would smile gleefully. Her eyes would try to turn left and right to capture our voices.
Innocently, she'd be smiling.
A really smart baby- I would say.

But we could not show our empathy much, not right in front of her mother.
And I really felt helpless.
What hurts most- is when you can't do anything, and anything at all.

Passed-by opportunity

I am so inclined to go!
But I'm not going, I think.

SIgh

What a great opportunity to be wasted.

I am not talking about myself- because I've decided. Yes I must decide it to be like this.
I am referring to someone else.
----- Why can't you just analyse closely?-----
----- Why don't you just try it?--------
----- It will bring no harm at all!-----

The policy is changing already. If you don't try it, you'd never know! Is it because of your back-in-school mentality?

It's so wasted that you are not going to accept it.
Really, this is such a great opportunity!!

And it's really time to crawl out of your shell.
Stubbornness is one of the greatest enemies in us.
IF everyone is S-M-A-R-T, there will be PERFECT PEOPLE in this world.

Come on, let's face the reality.
Another two years will bring you to nowhere, but this definitely will!
But I cannot give you 100% assurance because I won't be here to experience it.
But I know, if I were you, I will. I will definitely go for it!!

Sigh.

Some people just do not know how to appreciate valuable chances that come by.
And some never will..

Perhaps, you're afraid.
Or you are just too proud to admit it,
Or, you are just so 'kiasu',
Or, you're just too ignorant on this,
Or, you're just too rigid.

Or whatever:(

You should know that extreme rigidness is also another weaknesses in ourselves.

Should I?

Should I let it go?
And wait?

Or should I grab the chance?
And be bold?

Should I adapt to the changes that I anticipate?
Or should I change?

If I don't, will I regret?
Again?

But, is it worth it?

Which route should I choose?
Why is it so hard for me to do it?

I really don't know what am I thinking at times..


But I'm afraid that i will regret it, a-g-a-i-n.

So long~~

Nostalgia

I went to UPM today to get some documents done.

Somehow, I felt really nostalgic.

Which is really weird, because I was there barely a month ago.

And it drizzled for a short moment..

I remember looking up the lamp posts when it was drizzling at night, years ago at the same spot.
The raindrops sparkled like snow flakes.
And accompanied by the serene rhythm of the night..

And when it drizzled momentarily at the stadium during the fireworks..
During the beautiful, unforgettable closing ceremony..
When we were standing in the middle of the field with the fireworks right on top of us..

Missed those moments.

Port Dickson trip

Basically, it was a short trip. And a hot one too.
Not much changes observed my last trip a few months back.
However, the seafood at Port Dickson Seafood Restaurant was really bad. We vowed never to go there again. I wonder how they could have such a lousy chef. We should have gone to eat somewhere else. Will never set foot in this restaurant, ever again.






Will have to compare my looks after moving on to new life next year. Hopefully better :P