looking at my just-previous blog made me subconsciously smile, but with bitter feelings too
*admitting
hmmmm...:P
actually, i realised that it ain't as simple loh..i was just about to running + enjoying the view along the way, but suddenly got stopped by strangers asking me not to indulge in the flowers anymore because the land is going to be re-developed- means no more flowers/tress/passers-by walking-the-dogs/etc
in fact, the sentence mentioned above is just a statement and an irrelevant example that i could think of to convey my current feelings
and life
#meansidontmeantherealthinghere
so so confused at the moment
the choice that i currently-in-the-midst-of-making....so terrible?
i never doubted my choice/ path all along
though i care a lot on what they tell me
but asking me to go against my own will
is something that i doubt i wanna do at this age, anymore
so many choices/ opinions given earlier didn't benefit me
but i really don't know why i care so much on their opinion at the moment
when my feelings' telling me it's supposed to be right and they don't know the real situation
bla bla bla
#imblabbingagain
=.="
in fact, i'm disappointed with myself too...
but it's ever fair to compare, right? so why? all my life i'm never into comparing because i know every individual is different
i want to go against their will!!
oops
i'm actually having writer's block so reach here to babble a while
tata
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
balancing between fun and responsibilities
trying to balance life indulgences and responsibilities at the same time...instead of running in a marathon only- why not run along and smell the flowers at the same time huh? =)
Monday, June 25, 2012
weird weird lately
Yeah..is really weird weird case lately
Wondering what's wrong with myself too
Been irritated easier than before
eg 1:
bought breakfast for her as she sprained her back last week, wed i think, and she insisted i take the money every morning until saturday morning, when she actually handed me the money. i was zzzzz, and asked her, why so calculative?
erm, of coz i won't take the money la..i am as stubborn as a cow okay!
eg2:
washed toilet for her just only (yes I know is late at this hour, but at first i thought want to leave the bleach on as disinfectant until the next morning (previously i scrubbed hard at the walls and i think it's energy draining, especially for someone like me who always OT in school). finally decided to wait about 5 mins and rinse and scrub the walls off (after spraying with bleach), actually this is very easy. This was what i used to do at home, and glad that I have with the freedom of without my parents complaining of the bleach smell. I was worried that the stench would go into my landlady's room since you know lah, this is not back home where every compound is much bigger.
BTW, i did the more environmental-friendly way before by using vinegar, but the stench was really strong. I didn't dare to use it anymore already.
Anyway, just now, she came out at this hour to the toilet (coz she heard water running), and only to realise that i was using the toilet. and washed the toilet. she said, you only give me the rental, this is not your job. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I feel really iritated loh. Perhaps she is also with bad mood since her back pain will take time to heal.
I know she's in bad mood because I'm always not at home- either work late or loiter around :S
What can I do leh?
What is wrong with me lah?
sigh
Okayla, just lamenting here. My monday blues is still on and I'm supposed to hand something soon but i wasn't doing anything related to it at all.
=.="
#stressedbecauseofworkandthuslookingforhouseworktodo
Too comfy at home-aka-room already
Good nite! :P
Wondering what's wrong with myself too
Been irritated easier than before
eg 1:
bought breakfast for her as she sprained her back last week, wed i think, and she insisted i take the money every morning until saturday morning, when she actually handed me the money. i was zzzzz, and asked her, why so calculative?
erm, of coz i won't take the money la..i am as stubborn as a cow okay!
eg2:
washed toilet for her just only (yes I know is late at this hour, but at first i thought want to leave the bleach on as disinfectant until the next morning (previously i scrubbed hard at the walls and i think it's energy draining, especially for someone like me who always OT in school). finally decided to wait about 5 mins and rinse and scrub the walls off (after spraying with bleach), actually this is very easy. This was what i used to do at home, and glad that I have with the freedom of without my parents complaining of the bleach smell. I was worried that the stench would go into my landlady's room since you know lah, this is not back home where every compound is much bigger.
BTW, i did the more environmental-friendly way before by using vinegar, but the stench was really strong. I didn't dare to use it anymore already.
Anyway, just now, she came out at this hour to the toilet (coz she heard water running), and only to realise that i was using the toilet. and washed the toilet. she said, you only give me the rental, this is not your job. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I feel really iritated loh. Perhaps she is also with bad mood since her back pain will take time to heal.
I know she's in bad mood because I'm always not at home- either work late or loiter around :S
What can I do leh?
What is wrong with me lah?
sigh
Okayla, just lamenting here. My monday blues is still on and I'm supposed to hand something soon but i wasn't doing anything related to it at all.
=.="
#stressedbecauseofworkandthuslookingforhouseworktodo
Too comfy at home-aka-room already
Good nite! :P
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Never grow old?
Feel like I've never grown old enough, with pretty dramatic changes in mood now and then
And changing passions
Getting bored with used-to-want-to things
As I go on with this, i feel like doing something else
And so on
Been rushing almost entire this study journey
Is it really testing my patience or determination, I wonder?
Realised that my endurance is really low at times. Perhaps is due to lower motivations?
Or is it because of pessimism as I go on? Eh. The faster u want something to be done, the worse it became
Perhaps also, it's about how much I treasure flying time at times
So emo post today Hor?
In fact, it's not really emo actually, just reflecting. I realised that from day 1 itself, I've always complained of insufficient time and until now
Zzzzzz
It's like I'm always on roller- coaster, and this is totally different from my few months journey during my previous work trip many years ago, where everything was slow and relaxing and.. Whatever=='
Don't know how much more I've got to learn tk be better and more determined and matured
Have to think more wisely I guess
Ie, I'm not wasting my time here. I must not work to enjoy only. Arrghhh.. Seemed hard for someone playful like me actually
When all I thought was if I could do something else more meaningful, and things would be better
Perhaps is some weird crisis feelings going over me right now
Whatever it is, all the best lah~
One more, really really salute those that kept meeting bumps and still so so so determined!! I know who you are;) :*
Will keep learning!!!!
And changing passions
Getting bored with used-to-want-to things
As I go on with this, i feel like doing something else
And so on
Been rushing almost entire this study journey
Is it really testing my patience or determination, I wonder?
Realised that my endurance is really low at times. Perhaps is due to lower motivations?
Or is it because of pessimism as I go on? Eh. The faster u want something to be done, the worse it became
Perhaps also, it's about how much I treasure flying time at times
So emo post today Hor?
In fact, it's not really emo actually, just reflecting. I realised that from day 1 itself, I've always complained of insufficient time and until now
Zzzzzz
It's like I'm always on roller- coaster, and this is totally different from my few months journey during my previous work trip many years ago, where everything was slow and relaxing and.. Whatever=='
Don't know how much more I've got to learn tk be better and more determined and matured
Have to think more wisely I guess
Ie, I'm not wasting my time here. I must not work to enjoy only. Arrghhh.. Seemed hard for someone playful like me actually
When all I thought was if I could do something else more meaningful, and things would be better
Perhaps is some weird crisis feelings going over me right now
Whatever it is, all the best lah~
One more, really really salute those that kept meeting bumps and still so so so determined!! I know who you are;) :*
Will keep learning!!!!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
No longer finds it noble?
Either it's because of that or because I'm not that naive anymore in this field..
Alright I'm just babbling...
I should learn and appreciate these rare chances
Be thankful
Be bold...
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