Have you ever been stalked before?

Yes, I have been. A number of times. At least four times by different strangers, that was what I've observed/ realised.

But by someone known to me, that is something new, and something really frightening, depressing and made me full of hatred at the same time. I even noticed that my sense of the environment changes had diminished. I no longer enjoy the flowers on the trees, the chirpings of the birds, and the music of the rain.

No, it's not the same as stalking blogs. it's absolutely very, very different, okay?

Does it make any sense at all, to get this type of life? Being emotionally tortured is something far worse than pain inflicted physically. Or that is what I'm thinking.

They say, life is always full of ups and downs; and therefore, I always take bad experiences as lessons.
I've always believd that things happen for a reason.

But never have I imagined myself being stalked so badly that it emotionally drained my life in everything. It drains so much, even at this much mature age of mine.

I finally cried so badly today. Very badly. Yes I admit here, despite my ego-ness. It wasn't intended at all, but I do worry that I will succumb to depression.

And this is also when I learn, the freedom of life is something we have always taken for granted.
Something so priceless, and yet, takes so much for granted. So much the same as someone able-bodied to become someone disabled. or someone that is sick from a healthy state.

I am thankful with many wonderful friends that worries about me- it's very sweet of them, especially when I am in such a dire state. But, I really can't rely on you all always and become a liability. And I really don't want your sympathy, I only require solutions from brainstormings. Three people asked to accompany back home today. So sweet. Thank you very much. I really appreciate you guys so much. *hugssss*

But I turned down your help, because I really needed time to be alone to reflect and regain energy again.
I even FFK one at the very last minute.
Sigh, so abnormal of me; someone who hardly FFK people because promises must always be kept. But I can't be bothered about keeping promises at this state.

And as far as you all know me, I am someone who never wants to ma fan anyone at all, because it is just too annoying.

To the stalker, I will make you pay for what you've done to mine and my friends' lives!
I will not be soft-hearted and care about your future anymore- should you brainlessly repeat your action again.
This is what I pledge!

better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Wedding planner of my friend's pasted on their website..though we feel it's not really appropriate ...

Anyway, does is kind of reflect some thoughts in your mind too? 

So long~

Temptations vs busy workload

Temptations are always the highest when we are doing something very uninteresting, mind-boggling, heart-wrenching or boring stuff...urgh --> :\
But not when we're relaxing.....

I'm longing to finish my favourite book but I have to put it away until this is done ah!!

The book that I'm currently reading reminds me so much of Black Beauty..and my world of horse-riding..hehee:P

So long~

locking toilets?

I'm utterly disgusted by the 'no-whereness' this is going..

Locking toilets so that it will not be accessible to non-dept ppl..
This is seriously ridiculous and hillarious..
We even had boiling point of blood when it was first stated..

The issue came from:

1. Switching off the water system so that it cannot be used after working hours. We usually work late and we did not realise this ruling when it was first imposed. I remember going to that toilet very early the next day to clear the 'leftovers' :S
And then I stopped using the toilet after work and went to next dept to use theirs. I think next dept should lock their toilet considering that numerous dept ppl that visit their toilet every day as compared to our problem.

2. The lady cleaner hired never really cleaned the toilet properly. I noticed that next dept's cleaner clean twice a day at least, and their (last year? or the year before?) renovated toilet was much, much better than ours which was just established this year. Even with alcohol to clean the seats. Bigger. Cleaner. Urgh...

And these problems led to:

Less hygienic toilets..

Unfortunately, the issues weren't to settle it but to make it bigger. Instead of either making sure that the cleaners clean properly, they came up with a ridiculous idea of locking the toilets. So we have to use the key whenever we need it.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Someone did mention that locking it will be safer due to uneventful events that had happened in the past. However, the if something bad is going to happen, the person trapped inside can't even run in time too! This locking may only help office-working hours people, but never, ever to those working OT.

So in summary, it's a rule created to protect themselves and not the rest. In fact, it's unfair because the toilet belongs to the public and not to these few people who came up with this idea.
And, it's really going no where when ridiculous ideas keep coming up.
I'm seriously zzzzzz with these..

Another issue was on the window ventilation. Are they actually trying to find faults when there's supposed to be none?
The issue even had to be reported to the higher authorities without a word mentioned to us. We were not wrong in this, there were some odour that led to us with this move. Nevertheless, we were told that we cannot do this by the higher authority people and not told by someone who reported it silently.
Are we in the midst of being backstabbed by people?

Moreover, issues of water bottles in the lab and wearing slippers. If you disagree with these, you can always advise us directly instead of going through another person. We are all humans with brains.

I guess, if you're not happy with any of our group, you shouldn't be hiding and complaining. Face us and tell us straight, please. Be a gentle and fair 'person'.

I haven't even mentioned the small tables that we have now and sleeping in labs because the current place is so.not.comfy.at.all.

The system is very bad, really :(
Are there ways to improve it?
I'm so, so disappointed.
They say, "If you can't beat them, join them!"
Well, never am I gonna agree with the huge flaw somehow. Just plain irritated at the moment.

Important month

I asked to eat noodle-like food for celebration this month..
Feel more closer to home I guess...
Been eating that home-cooked one by mom for years..
I'm not revealing more:p

Back to non-food story..
I can't sleep at this hour though the weather is very, very nice..

Feels like winter in Sg.. Okay, not exaggerating but.. It's really nice:)
Aunt Joyce and I were chatting briefly before I decided to read in room..
I told her to use warm shower.. Being an elderly who plans to wash hair at 10pm =.=
She said nope despite the cold weather..
And so, I complained "the weather's so weird lately!"
She: it's monsoon my dear
Me: no leh, last year rained in oct only.. This year so early
She: now's almost oct wat
Me: @@ no leh, now is still early sept...rained since last week, remember?

Cutely, being such an elderly person (have I mentioned that she's 76 this year?)
She replied: yeah, thanks to all the tall tall buildings, mrts, buses lahhh....
I can't really convey how she said that.. I just laughed and explained indirectly.. Yeah de, vety much less trees ah.....

And then I bade good night to her lah

Anyway..September is a pretty important month for me..
As it marks the 3rd quarter of the year
It's time to start planning..
I'm undecided on my future plans.. Seemed so cloudy, so far and yet so fast it's coming ...

Sigh..
Time flies eh?

And I had a 'chasing the cat's tail discussion with my Prof again'
The ending of the story seemed is always in circles..
So irritating.. Perhaps we both are just a bit zzzz of how to end it in a better way?
And that I have to run more samples too?! =.=
Sigh
Actually it should be mentioned that.. It's because of my reluctance in doing those...
Aright forget it please..

And we got free chocolates yesterday! Really yummy one:) Thanks!:) it did help to cheer up my mood so much though I dislike raisins..

So long~