Hello!

Hello!!

Been wanting to drop by and write a few words, but that procrastination had been ongoing until...now

Will only drop by a few words here and that is:

1) Because of the strong principal that money can't buy time, and I feel that I am not utilising my time  well, the negativity is there....
2) Because of uncertainties and over expectations, disappointments ensue..

but..(lessons)

1) We should try our best in anything that we are chanced upon (oh well, including the cooking part)
2) Be adventurous and anticipate uncertainties, since nothing can be done about it..

Just like this horsey who came charging at me when I was taking its picture not too far away....=.=
This was taken at Newforest by the way...

Not sure if it is a pony or horse...but how would I say; playful? :P

Grass is always 'softer' on the other side of the road

Hello!

Well technically speaking, the grass is indeed softer at a cooler country...erm...muchhhhh cooler country

I wonder if I will bu she de leave here...for now, it's just a so-so feeling..
When people asks, I just say 'so far so good'

Confided with my supervisor today and realised that we are always chasing the tail like a mice..
And he told me that, well, we can't always fulfil other people's requirements..

But to fulfil my own requirements is also....(erm I should lower down my expectations horrr)
But as one of my bests said, we are always fighting.. really can't agree more...
Though I lazy fight leh...

Anywayyy, on a brighter side of the story:

tadaaaa~

Welcoming spring and warmer but not-so-hot-weather:)

Recent trip to Radcliffe Camera

Probably my housemates will be zzzz with my procrastination of giving them their pictures...
*lazy me* lol..

Btw, it's a quarter of the year le... And finally today I found new motivations for this year's plan (well, it's never too late right?)

Lessons: we only learn when we deal with hardships/challenges (err well-known fact) =P

So long for now=)

Fruitful day:)

Today's the day that I felt being treated like some very important contributing personnel. Feel like a grown up person (at this age =.=)! Today's also the day that I felt really thankful for these: 

1. Being given advices on current life; just be ready to take risks like what I'm currently doing. 

2. Being a listener to some nice stranger (very surprisingly; I probably have a good listener's face today)

3. Being able to solve the current biggest  headache before deadline after my severe pushy mood these two weeks!! and...

4. Being able to be approved of what I want for the current plans. Feel bad that instead of selling myself, others had to keep me continually interested. I guess it's all about my hunger for learning that made me like this. Sigh.. So ungrateful of me yeah? 

Anywayyyy, productive day huh?:)

What more can I say?:) 

#blessed

All in all, thank you for everything!!:)

So long~

A warm heart instead of a warm chair

I was at the library waiting for a seat with electric plug when I noticed that a lady was standing in front of me a few feets away and packing her bags quietly. Then, she switched her chair with the next empty chair. As I thought that she was actually going to continue sitting back; she took her bags, turned around, and walked towards me; saying: "I sat too long and my chair was warm and so I switched it". 
*touched* 
-instead of a warm chair, I got a warm heart.
needless to say, the world needs more angelic people like her...thank you Miss Stranger!!:))

So I will pass on the positive aura when I see the next person ah..:D:D:D

And to add on to this post, I had just resolved one of my biggest issues that had been haunting me since mid-October or early November 2014!!! :D

This is indeed a wonderful day for me lah, from the positive aura from that angelic lady to my then biggest news on that nightmarish non-creditability issue (erm....not the stalker one coz that one resolved long time already:D)

You know, it's really important to know your rights in everything. Not that I'm asking you to argue with everyone, but being ignorant is definitely not a bliss in a HUGE NUMBER of cases.

I have indeed learned a lot during this nightmarish journey... that I felt so so so down initially because I feel that I don't need such lessons as I believe in karma. And that I don't need such experiences. But then comparing to my parents when I was much tinier/younger, I think their hardship were far worse than mine (with us to feed and make noise at home some more).

Though: not that I have done anything like that to others at all, considering that I keep my words as for words and actions.

Oh yeah, I will try to experience some new adventures for the next two weeks...hopefully can survive this new adventure and experience:P (thinner perhaps? heheee)

As for my stalker experiences previously, I actually feel that it is a blessing in disguise experience now:D because we may encounter tailing experiences in our future endeavours when at overseas (after the briefing that we went to hear yesterday).
Kinda ...... because suddenly feel that everywhere is full of crimes =.="

Anywayyyyy, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015!!!!! :D 
May this year be a more peaceful, better, wonderful, happily, successful and whatever-positive-one-la-year for everyone in everything!!!! 

So long~

Salute to these bikers!

http://kl.coconuts.co/2014/12/05/dbkl-goes-silent-pothole-complaints-biker-group-repairs-roads-kl-themselves

Instead of answering reports that fell to silent ears or can't be bothered notes, they were more hardworking in changing the road signs...and to cause havoc in now and future..

For changing road signs: it's a totally waste of money, causing direction headaches, changes of address worldwide-satellite system, and that someone were robbed and in order to report the affected area/location)

These people 'so hardworkingly' do unnecessary things than to properly do job that actually serve the people...(read: http://www.thestar.com.my/News/Community/2014/11/26/Baffled-over-new-road-names-City-folk-surprised-by-DBKLs-sudden-decision/)

Why always walk backwards than to fly forward ah? *depressing* =.=

Anyway, this is what mismanagement is all about.. zzzzz
So memalukan, as always... sighhhh...

So long~

Finding solitude in drawing..

While searching for holiday mood +

solitude, I ended up polishing my drawing skills (procrastinated since ages ago =.=)

Well, we're supposed to squeeze the lemon juice out if life treats us as sour as lemon.

I was reading on some law and regulation  matters regarding to workforce stuffs yesterday night and realised that things seemed darker than it had seemed actually.. Ignorance is a bliss Hor :/ (bluff myself for few weeks =.=)

Now, what should I say? Squeeze lemon juice, make a lemonade and look at the bright side *pat pat

Maybe things won't be this bad leh? (Still bluffing myself.. No thanks)

I always prepare myself in the worse case scenario; don't know why I have such a lousy habit but usually that's how I prepare myself. Probably coz can't rely on anyone to help me a lot ba...

I guess that I also learned a lot these few months. What a funny experience lor; thought things would be better drastically (oh well, actually it did because I have more time to settle own things)

Less harassments (pity my friend that got harassed because of me)..

On the other side, more time means more me-time, reflections; back to square 1 but happy on one side; and uncertainties on the other side

Lessons:

1. Please do homework more carefully and no more relying on word of mouth or friends only (tough lesson for me lorrrr)

2. When we don't have hope, we'd have less disappointments (or

perhaps none). But stay motivated on the correct track because every passing minute cannot be refunded anymore.

3. No point regretting what has been done. Forget the past and fear not for the future (something that I got from watching the recent drama series on correctional behavior also). Meaningful:)

4. Be rational and keep calm. Things will happen in due course (as if fated lah); because rush rush also in the end is like that *urgh* or even worse/negatively unexpected..

Btw, we change when we meet the love of our life --> for better; I never changed much leh.. But I think over the years, I =.= ; I have surrounding friends that have changed because of me. This, adds me to another misery (a recent encounter). Probably because I was too ignorant all along due to busy, roller coaster life... *urgh

Kind of irritated actually :((

On the other hand, because I was relying on some people's help (you know la when desperate); things went worse. All were victimized. To put it safely, no win-win situation but more learning lessons. Time to get back on the feet after all the nightmares le...

Ganbatte!!!

P/s: the Madame Solittude is some manga series character.. Not sure if it's really misspelled that way.. Cbb :p

So long~

Thought the bad things have ended...

First of all, this is going to be a pretty negative post..

Thought all bad things have ended and will see triple rainbow, only to realise that I'm caught in another act of disappointment..

And seemed that the events that had happened are prolonged and not those short, crash courses during my graduate studies..

I still get harassed by stalkr through messages (which apparently I have finally changed the number and did not inform the rest of the related-circle on the number change, even the close lab members because letting them know would only cause them to tell lies)..
Although the messages sounded kind "ie if you need my help, please do not hesitate to find me" bla bla...
I showed the message to one my the lab members and the answer was "doesn't sound harmful"
To me, I also CBB whether you think I'm paranoid or not...
But it just reminds me of those thriller series when the kidnapper wants the one hiding to come out from the hiding place (while trying to run away/escape) and promises security, safety, no harms, etc..

I didn't even tell my ex-boss of the change of number...

Ie: if they know and when that idio* asks, they have to pretend. It's better if they don't know right? I'm still contactable anyway through some accounts that don't need phone number.

I am really glad that I have moved away too..though initially felt like new landlady is very fussy; but sooner I realised that she is understanding in some ways. And provided me some new guidance that I am quite happy at the meantime..


I also realised that some hopes can never be carried on so I chose to let go..

My previous friend contacted me again, to my surprise..Okay, I may think too much and contemplated too, but my ex landlady (which I visited her few days back to see her and get some letters because she had called me twice in 3 weeks to ask how I am) had mentioned this: 好马不吃回头草 when she asked me whether I want to move back or not..*guilty*
Literally speaking, the chinese idiom was used for the wrong meaning...
I told her that I didn't want her to wait and waste her source of income...and it's not a job, it's a room lahh =.=

Anyway, back to the story: although I think that this is overthinking: but 好马不吃回头草 is applicable to jobs and relationships..which reminds me of my past. Anywayyy, no turning back although I was contacted and there were signs/hints (okay okay i overthink~) cannnoooot perasan!

Then I also probably choose to let go of another haunting, prolonged crisis, it just wouldn't work I guess...

Then there is also this job thing that made me superbly disappointed... I thought it could end all the bad things le, but the recent news that I've heard made me...speechless. How could that someone be so no creditability??

Many stories in these recent months, and 2 years..and most of it prolonged, so much terrible than work-till-wee hours-labwork-no-results-days
:/

But on the other hand, kinda thankful with caring friends that wondered whether I'll fly off for work trip or not because I didn't bother to update them anymore after realising all these crisis. 

My another friend said "so dramatic lorr"
I fully agree.... :/

Anyway, I have to hang on, but not very sure of the brighter side anymore...

So long..

Thanks and Picture credits


P/S: Oh well, at least no more midnight-oil burnings! 

Stalker emailed me...urgh

And so, the stalker has veryyyyyy thick elephant skin as what my mom says...

It was 2 messages last week
today early morning at 1.38 am, another email that says gratitude + a pdf containing the pictures of the notes that I have left to correct st*pid behaviour for work and those that I CBB to mention face-to-face from early this year in the workplace..

The psycho person actually took pictures of all these and put in the ppt pictures..for so many months!!!!

I reli, reli, reli can't understand why is it still going on??!!

What I have learned is:

A weird/stalker behaviour of 'constantly harassing' belongs to someone who is extremely selfish, no compassion, rigid and stubborn.

I do not know if these are true, just my two cents.

I've in fact, spoken to some people (close friends usually) and few admitted that they did this when they broke up, years ago, but not at this 30-ish age.
One that knows the stalker closely said, he has an innocent mind.

I was like..@@ is that innocence OR selfish?? 

I also updated my close friends of the chronological events, in case something is bound to happen *sobs*

Reminds me of those sending weird parcels to house etc..(those thrillers that I used to watch a lot)

But the CBB mode is somehow quite going on especially with the workload that I have before my holiday..
SIGH..


So long..

A reminder post to myself in future: Being elderly

Lessons of life as you grow riper than before:

1. You must not grow to be more stubborn. Listen to advices.
- Do you remember how often you asked Aunt Joyce to stop taking cold, sweet Pokka green tea? A sip is still hazardous. Do you remember how many continuous hours of sleep she had after she took one-two sips only? Do you remember the NOTES that you left on her fridge?? God doesn't help those that don't help themselves??

2. You must continuously be happy.
- Yes, I know it's hard to be happy always, but be positive and be motivated! If you want to die, please don't bring troubles to others. Be happy, and everyone around you would be much happier.

3. You must know how to take care of yourself, and of others by this age.
- People say when we grow older, we become more childish, or was it- can't be bothered actually? (P/S: I wish I am able to do some research on this! =.=" oh well, neurology is definitely not my field!) If you want to bring less troubles to people, learn to take good care of yourself.

4. Go to the homes, if you think you should. You will not die so fast if you're continuously happy over at the homes, should you be there one day. Don't argue with everyone saying you're capable.
- Do I need to say more? I hope you're not having dementia by then and don't remember these! There's no such thing as leaving the homes only one says goodbye. It's not a jail, really. it may look like one, but it isn't at all. Going there is better than staying at home. It worries other people, such as me who is more busybody than anyone else.

5. Give more, and give without receiving is the greatest happiness of all. Forgive everyone.
- Life may be tough, but trust me, you'd be as happy as the dogs that you've seen in NANAS Singapore in Johor that you went earlier yesterday, rolling over the horses' kennels and irritating the horses to the point that *grin*, the horses had to stomp their feet and whined to complain or sigh loudly!

- There'll be relatives that forget you and can't forgive of what you've done in the past (of the scary stories that I heard earlier and don't know if it is ever validated) and if that happens, plan for your own future! (Sigh, I hope mine is never like that in future; leaving the tenant hopeless to find for help if something worse is bound to happen again) Forgive everyone and don't remember the bad things only.

But of all these points, I've realised that my threshold have reached. I can't be responsible for bigger events anymore as it really scares me, as I know her relatives are hopeless. My mom told me to do more charity as she said it's better than doing any other charity. I agree with her, but at the same time, I also know my limits and capabilities as well.

To be truth, I do without expectations (that's why I enjoyed myself tremendously in SPCA though I am a bit afraid of big, wild dogs despite my fondness for dogs: urgh); but for someone like her whom I hold no authority at all...it is a truly terrifying and tiring experience for me. I at least expect her relatives to be alert and care for her more (Well, I really insulted some of her relatives because they asked really brainless questions like: "Must she really be sent to the hospital?";"Was it really serious?""Oh, I can't see her tomorrow" (End-to-end, hospitalization is all about money and they were being practically cautious to stay away from all sorts of troubles or money matters, and probably they hope that one is not told at all or do not know anything on these at all) --> Selfish people='(

Say I'm timid, but really, I'll just do my best before leaving. Post-leaving this comfy rented room, I hope to hear better news but feelings negatively say so.

It's also entirely different from a case whereby: if something is bound to happen, and I will have the urge to straight contact her who-and-who immediately because I know they're RELIABLE and not selfish, cold-blooded, brainless or money-minded in any way. You know, when she was sent to the A & E, I actually can't be bothered to tell her sister at all despite my mom keep telling me to inform her at that moment; because I know it's plain hopeless. I did anyway and only to mentally vomit blood later with her response (Yes I am hot-tempered when it comes to things that I can't see go through fairly or well).

If they supported me thoroughly, I wouldn't be so depress when dealing with these. Well, things always happen for a reason. And this brings me to another last-but-not-least-lesson-of-the-day:

6. Things really happen for a reason. Always bear this in mind!
- On the surface, things may look really ugly but there's always a glitter of positivity when a negative issue surfaces.
- Coincidentally, all these re-surfacing problems are telling me now that despite feeling so tired with all these (plus the seem-so-far-to-end-workload before I see the real sunrise), it's also a point to know that I should move on to a better place. Every single close friend that are aware of my current life had told me these for sometime but I was just too lazy or probably, too comfy to be more hardworking to do this :| (Yes, blame myself for my procrastination!)

I really hope to find own home by now but sadly, I'm incapable to do so at this moment (BIG SIGH!). Well, it's just not time yet. Be patient gal!!

Anyway, remember these hard lessons, please!

So long~

of blood is thinner than water

People say it is blood that is THICKER than water

What I observe more is the other way round, especially living with a fine example.

I don't mean to poke my nose into people's family affair, but can you understand how do I feel when I don't have the feel to tell even her closest sister that she was hospitalised?

And after telling her, her answers were: Ok let me know if there's any updates and take care.

J.U.S.T.L.I.K.E.T.H.A.T

Then I reached home knowing I have to clean the toilet and her clothes with diarrhoea....because time would help the bacteria to grow more happily if it was not cleaned...

And the toilet will suffer..and so do I

Today morning while I was cleaning up her room from the heavy diarrhea before rushing to my friend's open house (she was really unfit to even bend down), I was telling her that she should go to the homes...

She said it was too expensive..

Then after coming back from the open house at about 6pm today (i brought some food for her also since I have the feel that she won't be able to cook, and probably wont eat)...I saw her head tilted against my room's locked door with clothes half worn on the rattan chair.

My expression was OMG @@"
So, I asked her to go hospital and she said she wants to take a cab.
I looked at her like this =.= and said, who's gonna carry you to the cab?

Then I said I need to call ambulance.
And so the ambulance came.

After reaching home at 9pm, all the phones came non-stop.

First was from her money-minded cousin:
Uncle S: Where is J?
Me: She was hospitalised. Just sent her to the hospital with the ambulance.
Uncle S: Oh
Me: speechless (too moody with J's sister comments thati CBB)
Uncle S: Why hospitalised?
Me: She was very weak lah
Uncle S: Did you inform her sis?
Me: (Am I supposed to cover all these? Not being calculative but I was only thinking, he could have done it and inform her right? Anyway, he has an 'RP' (personality) that i could never be fond of and never respected him) Yes I just told her
Uncle S: Tomoro I may not have time to go see her leh
Me: (bursted) Up to you whether have time or not, you all are her relatives. Anyway, you guys always no time one lah
Me: hang up the phone

Minutes later, phone rings again

Uncle S: Can I know which hospital she went to?
Me: Alexandra
Uncle S: Which ward and bed ah?
Me: I don't know coz I was not informed yet. the registration counter is open and you can ask them one.
Uncle S: Thanks
Me: bye

then minutes later, her old friend called...and said he tried getting her whole day..
I told her she was hopsitalised and said I couldn't access the mailbox. he left something for her.

Then minutes later, he called again asking which hospital again (this is quite old uncle that i didn't feel that angry when responding to him coz he sounded nice) and said his leg is in pain, may not be able to see her. I said, it's okay, got heart can already. Some people don't even have heart what more is time.

Then after that, her cousin's wife called. This time, she asked, what happened, why, and then was it serious?
I was like =.=" if not serious can go hospital one meh? And if don't know the ward, please go and ask at the counter.

haihz

practical people
and all these are rich people leh....
sigh...

my mom was laughing so much to see my insulting comments. too bad lah, i may sound really b**chy but these people don't earn my respect and so I really CBB.

so long~

MH 17:(

It doesn't matter which plane that got downed. What matters most is, how could they just shoot a plane like that??? These are innocent lives.. Why war?? St*pid, selfish ppl, terrorist!!! heartless!!!!

Why people must be at war and cause misery to each other???!

We had a great old friends gathering, and most of us were sad with the fate of MH, keep compensating...and the lives involved on the plane

But we were extremely furious...these are the innocent lives of people, family members flying for vacation, dreaming to see their loved ones for family reunions or festive seasons, and the scientists who would save millions of lives!! 

Even living people like us are furious...I wonder how could they really RIP? :'((

ROS reactive oxygen species; stress and aging

Hallo!

I wasn't planning to tell much on ROS, aging and stress here...but just to share a story on our most recent moment conversation in the lab..

Situation:
Student A has been sleeping very late lately due to paper submission, answering reviewers, writing thesis, preparing presentation and most importantly, to present well in front of panel of potential examiners/future boss..
Student A is having indigestion, sleepless nights, high stress level, and partial failure in anger management

Me: You looked really pale. Go and eat some multivitamins. Do you want my multivitamin? I have it on my table. Your ROS level is definitely very high now...need antioxidants ah....

Student A: Oh no!! *Eyes widening and face near to mine* Do you see any additional wrinkles????

Me: =.=""""""



Okay, to those who don't really get this nerdy joke, my =.=""""" face is due to: ROS level can lead to aging, but not as soon as 2 weeks' sleeps...I think it's more than that. Probably fine lines in 2 weeks, maybe?

Second point, Student A was @@" with me too...talk about ROS linkage to sleepless nights....--->sigh

How can we end up being so 'nerdily' scientific ah??
=.=""


Talk about being labrats huh?

excited with a new avenue!!!

Can't disclose much yet, but super excited and positive feel with this! :D

Finally, a double layer of rainbows~

Picture credits
Can't wait to see if there's a triple one, but double one is already extreme happiness for me:D:D:D

so long~

Volcanoes....

For the first time in my life, a salesperson in a Beauty departmental store was asking me if I need pimple cream for the huge volcano on my face.


Sigh, the point is: I am not prone to pimples many. many years before.
And today, even my junior was like...... is something wrong inside your body??

You'd probably be saying: zzzzzz what the heck?? This also want to complain??! But this is my blog leh...... so pardon me to lament anything that I want here. TQ.

I also know that this post would sound like those teenagers complaining/whining about looks; or to learn to be grateful at least one or two volcanoes only......... but I STILL insist on writing this one, as I probably will laugh at my pimple days later in years to come...

But another point to lament is: the scars are so much slower to heal!!! *sobs....--> thanks to aging factor :'(
 
I blame it on...........................
Though i adore both former and the latter:

 

 All pictures were googled so copyrights remain to them ya~

I am blogging at this beautiful hour thanks to the firing email that I had just sent to my young collaborator after recent, countless incidences...

I have to dedicate my weekend to this person's work somemore but it's okay...it's all about the learning process right....

Well, life is short so say out before things get worse...

The consequences should be.....

I don't want to imagine but something will not be very right though...

P/S: I met up another friend just now and got a free ice-cream today. The point that I want to share here is: heeheee I managed to brainwash someone's thinking to get attached and have babies.... It was a real hardship to do this to that person about 6-8 months earlier. That surprised me...what a change huh? :P :D

But I have another close friend here who has succumbed to singledom life those...and that one, nag until saliva dry also cannot help.. haizz......

So long~

When patriotism is even going down to the sewage system..

In the midst of waiting for the lives to be safe (i still have hope despite the days that flew off), what I personally feel as each hour passes is: how our country's incompetency in disaster management is really a joke, especially at the ministerial level. I would say that the effect is even greater for Msians that are residing in overseas (like me); I just don't know how to portray my patriotism when things are so, so bad. Do you know that we have to show a greater patriotism when we're at overseas, despite earning at foreign countries and then spend more back in our home country? Do you know how much I promote people to Msia for holiday, etc?

But....all the yes and then no statements, saying want to be transparent and then: we can't release more information right now; the contradicting words here and there...the stolen passports suspects' similar pants...the different hours of detected signal....sigh.. these are really great jokers man...
Asking a bomoh is even...
And the world is watching.....

Do we need such a bad publicity?
Someone even told me today "I really sympathize with you"
Someone else told me "Hey, at least now Msia is famous!"

To be truth, I can't even bother to log into facebook these days....
And I keep updating myself with info on the news only...(so much of rumours anyway)
But I really, really lose hope with them....

And to add on, with the recent convictions of Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim and Karpal Singh... you know what it is about.

Opposition Leader and PR Chief Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim was handed - See more at: http://www.themalaymailonline.com/what-you-think/article/datuk-seri-dr-wan-azizah-a-moral-choice-for-kajang-selangor-and-malaysia-li#sthash.FT7g47PG.dpufdddd

Opposition Leader and PR Chief Dato’ Seri Anwar Ibrahim was handed - See more at: http://www.themalaymailonline.com/what-you-think/article/datuk-seri-dr-wan-azizah-a-moral-choice-for-kajang-selangor-and-malaysia-li#sthash.FT7g47PG.dpuf

If you guys can't rule, please leave and spare the future for the others..
Msia is such a beautiful country to be ruined by brainless people like you all.
Please don't be so selfish. You guys are clearly trying to finish all the resources and then can't be bothered on the rest..
I just can't believe how you guys could sleep so soundly at night...


So corrupted and incompetent...
How bad do we have to get before things will be improved again?

Have you ever been stalked before?

Yes, I have been. A number of times. At least four times by different strangers, that was what I've observed/ realised.

But by someone known to me, that is something new, and something really frightening, depressing and made me full of hatred at the same time. I even noticed that my sense of the environment changes had diminished. I no longer enjoy the flowers on the trees, the chirpings of the birds, and the music of the rain.

No, it's not the same as stalking blogs. it's absolutely very, very different, okay?

Does it make any sense at all, to get this type of life? Being emotionally tortured is something far worse than pain inflicted physically. Or that is what I'm thinking.

They say, life is always full of ups and downs; and therefore, I always take bad experiences as lessons.
I've always believd that things happen for a reason.

But never have I imagined myself being stalked so badly that it emotionally drained my life in everything. It drains so much, even at this much mature age of mine.

I finally cried so badly today. Very badly. Yes I admit here, despite my ego-ness. It wasn't intended at all, but I do worry that I will succumb to depression.

And this is also when I learn, the freedom of life is something we have always taken for granted.
Something so priceless, and yet, takes so much for granted. So much the same as someone able-bodied to become someone disabled. or someone that is sick from a healthy state.

I am thankful with many wonderful friends that worries about me- it's very sweet of them, especially when I am in such a dire state. But, I really can't rely on you all always and become a liability. And I really don't want your sympathy, I only require solutions from brainstormings. Three people asked to accompany back home today. So sweet. Thank you very much. I really appreciate you guys so much. *hugssss*

But I turned down your help, because I really needed time to be alone to reflect and regain energy again.
I even FFK one at the very last minute.
Sigh, so abnormal of me; someone who hardly FFK people because promises must always be kept. But I can't be bothered about keeping promises at this state.

And as far as you all know me, I am someone who never wants to ma fan anyone at all, because it is just too annoying.

To the stalker, I will make you pay for what you've done to mine and my friends' lives!
I will not be soft-hearted and care about your future anymore- should you brainlessly repeat your action again.
This is what I pledge!

Kids and wisdoms

Fluorescent-shirt boy asking the younger boy (wearing red shirt) in Chinese, which parent do you prefer?
Younger boy said: my dad. Mom is not good.
Older boy was surprised and said, in Chinese proverb, mom is always the most important. Both your parents worked hard. Your mom bought you all the toys, you know... How could you said your mom like that?
Younger boy: .... Dunno what happened after that (I didn continue 'eavesdropping' but..)
Younger boy started slapping his face himself and both the elder boy (fluorescent t-shirt) and his another sibling said: enough already, don't slap anymore ya..

 

:) 

I was enjoying the live band at the Esplanade area, while overlooking the Singapore river.. Nice weather for some soul-searching activity.. 

Suddenly, a cute little girl came towards me while I was mesmerised by the river.. in deep thoughts..

Her black huge eyes widened at the sight of me munching my pepero sticks..

And so, instincts told me to share my chocolate sticks with her..

After some moments, her family decided to leave the seats there and placed her on her stroller..

She reluctantly left with her eyes glued to me..and my chocolate sticks I supposed..

Didn't even bothered to wave goodbye at all..

Only her lingering eyes..

How cute.. =)

P/S: chocolate-flavoured food are indeed one's best friend when one is in deep thoughts..

So long~

Back already lahhhh...

I'm back from the short holiday!!
Seems that holidays is never long, and days and nights flew off just like that..
The dreadfullness (despite soooo many donkey years and trips from home to here) never go away...
When will I be more mature ah?
Anyway, CBB..
:S

Mersing has lotsa nice places leh!
And *proudly grinning yet guilty contradictory; I think I've gained weight =.="

My beloved doggies... ~

Volunteering at Chin Chee Kok temple..while my bro (and my parents) are still active in this.. me not anymore though :(

Updates of Mersing trip: A piece of rock with lotsa oysters shell! Edible oysters don't have though (left panel)... And seafood galore (right panel)! Middle picture was crayfish as huge as a palm! :P
Had it near Tanjung Gemuk Jetty restaurant..

 Hehehe...our durian buffet trip... not forgetting a bash of squirrel-eaten durian as well..tasted really nice! And it was eye-widening for me too, how could squirrel eat such a hard-shelled fruit.. The hole that they (or individual?) bored was pretty huge...

Kite flying (my bro flew it up while I successfully dragged it down *muahahaha evil look*)
This was at Kg. Air Papan beach

 This romantic-looking place was at the further away-located beach near Mersing Jetty, a place where one can lie on the grass and read! :P

Anyway, I realised that I'm still not completely ready to let go of the past, despite the flying time...
Sigh..
The 'serba-salah' feeling is still there..
Really wondering what else can be done..
But it's better lah..

Need to be less emo but it's still.. there..

I'm thinking of going volunteering in animal shelters.. (previously I had mine in MINDS, but it's a bit too far)
But volunteering need commitment of weeks.. if I'm away for a holiday, who can take my place ah?
Hmmmm...

Let me think about it first..

Lessons learned: say no when you feel so

I have this deep sense of responsibilities when people asked for my help. And I'm way disappointed with myself for this.
I've finally learned this in a hard, hard way; that is: to say no when you just want to. And protect yourself. Sometimes, many thing just CBB anymore...

Please, please let me plant this in my mind!

I'm kind of disappointed that I only learn when I meet selfish people. And usually, a few events are needed to trigger this and not just once. Sigh
I'm just low in EQ I guess:(

And I've to learn not to trust people that easily anymore, despite their promises. But I'll continue keeping my words as I always will, and never hurt any party the way I do not want to be treated.

Lessons learned.. I confess here: I'm deeply disappointed with you bunch of selfish people..
Perhaps, I'm just not up to this game.. Or perhaps, I just care too much of others' feelings..

And now, I'm way too disappointed..

Sigh, I really need to go back to my happy self and not posting these kind of emo events anymore..

The gift hunting, farewell and karaoke sessions are more than enough to remember this- for.life.

Puzzlessss slowly into pieces :)

As now things seemed to go on slower than previous days/months/years.... I stared at this pc screen of mine and wondering how should I convey my feelings for today..

Had a deep discussion with my Prof..
crossing)
And I'm really, really thankful for having to have met him..
Right up from day one before the interview for the scholarship..to the scholarship application..and how fast time flies...
until now..
(paiseh sounded emo eh?)
just, kinda really thankful :)
The chances that he gives..the good days...the training...the push..the motivation..
The supports...

If I'm gonna be in a position like him in future, I will do the same!
But, even if I'm not, I will pass on the deeds :)

In fact, this deep discussion have finally gave me more, ample time that I've ever needed previously..to re-plan my life..to plan my future again..

:)

I'm clear with what I want...but I need to work it out..

and I'm happy to say that..things alwayssssssssss become better when mood changes for better... so people, be positive okay!!!

But right now, to keep my words as he had to me..I will finish the promised things:) (own pinkies crossing) heehee..