NUS commencement 2013

It was an unexpected surprise for most of everything after the official ceremony...

well, it was initially a formal one until I heard the Prof chairperson announcing '...-KAI'...urrghhh
and so my expression turned suddenly from :\ (coz scared of falling on stage) to :S (after the mis-pronunciation) and then I just can't be bothered, and so I  turned to this --> :D when I went to receive the scroll..with their cheerings...(else my pic would have a pale-faced one)

I think I'm the only one with cheerings (shy nya!) besides the last graduate recepient (because everyone was so bored to wait for the ceremony to finish!)

These friends of mine actually insisted shouting despite my reluctance, because who knows, I might fall further with sudden cheerings, right?

Actually the main reason I told them not to cheer was because: the hall is a very quiet, formal hall. boring type (full stop)

What they replied was: we will cheer louder and take more picture if you did fall!
shheeshhhhh >.<

And because this prata-hat looks like a witch's hat...they came up with all sorts of idea from stealing a stalk of plants that were used as a decor on the table to make a wand...to the final creative idea of combining two black straws to make a nice wand!

Finally, the battle of commencing this year came true!! :') Now, what's next?

Anyway, congratulations to the batch of 2013 Commencement graduates!!
:D

Kinda touched with their presence :')
Guess it's gonna be a journey to be forever and ever, remembered....

:) Another journey ending soon...

This current journey is about to come to an end le...some people say, life begins after this journey..I'm not sure if it's true.. but the baby steps of reaching this stage seemed so torturous initially...and prolonged unconsciously, though years and months seemed like hours and minutes...
Looking back now, I really wonder why did I choose this at the first place...and what had motivated me throughout this journey...

Perhaps, just as I've always hold on to this belief...everything happens for a right reason?

Anyway, just like dark chocolates, it's really bitter sweet when comes to the near end...
what more can I say?

hopefully smooth smooth la...~

The nostalgicness...is...indescribable...

This would be a post to be remembered in many, many years to come...

Babbling too much

Recently I have this habit of babbling too much- erm, through emails...mainly because:

1. I was too occupied with writing and writing- that until my brain seemed to dysfunction
2. I was anti-social- all outings reduced to -1
3. I was sitting at my desk place most of the time- health also probably deteriorated; lack of sports!!
4. I wasn't having sufficent sleeping hours.. 5-6 hours? - resulting in strenuous brain after waking up

Oh boy, I deserve a looooooooooooong gooooood holiday!

Anyway, my points wasn't the above:
well, I bombed my colleague's email yesterday coz I wasn't focused on the email that he had sent me just for my information...
I first replied with a wrong date
Then i corrected the date
Then I sent another email saying please disregard my earlier two emails to further explain and minus his time reading my email...(it was about 6pm, all done within 15mins?)
Then today morning, i realised that i read the contents of the email wrongly...OOooopPPsss
Means I had deciphered the wrong information
And so, whatever that I wrote yesterday were in fact- useless
Hmmmmmm --> :S (this was my expression when I was showering, because the thought just came up when I was having my morning shower)
zzzzzzzzzzzz

And so, I decided to send him the 4th email apologizing: sorry for bombing your mailbox
aiyohhh how paiseh I felt
how blur was I ah? =="

anyway, felt kinda touched when he said these:

No problem.

I don’t really understand what you are writing anyway.

Good to get things out of your system when you are stressed. Bomb my mailbox anytime.

LOL
haihhhh...paisehnyaaaaa
==
but really, really thankful for sweeeet people like these too ^^

and suddenly I'm thankful not for being a doctor
imagine how careless would I be?
:S

anyway, thanks everything to brain dysfunction! So lousy, at such a young age and being such a blur person :(
And before all these, I only got complimented for being meticulous
wrong judgement hor...

Sigh...Recently, the sleep deprivation effect had me feeling lack of sufficient sleep, that even my junior, when she saw me (for us to have lunch), she asked me- did you just wake up from sleep?

zzzzzzzz
If I have such a nice life to wake up from sleep during lunch hour... that would be a rainbow lor! Plus, impossible for right now when the writing work is so intense...
okayla so long~

Never grow old?

Feel like I've never grown old enough, with pretty dramatic changes in mood now and then
And changing passions
Getting bored with used-to-want-to things
As I go on with this, i feel like doing something else
And so on
Been rushing almost entire this study journey
Is it really testing my patience or determination, I wonder?
Realised that my endurance is really low at times. Perhaps is due to lower motivations?
Or is it because of pessimism as I go on? Eh. The faster u want something to be done, the worse it became
Perhaps also, it's about how much I treasure flying time at times
So emo post today Hor?
In fact, it's not really emo actually, just reflecting. I realised that from day 1 itself, I've always complained of insufficient time and until now
Zzzzzz
It's like I'm always on roller- coaster, and this is totally different from my few months journey during my previous work trip many years ago, where everything was slow and relaxing and.. Whatever=='
Don't know how much more I've got to learn tk be better and more determined and matured
Have to think more wisely I guess
Ie, I'm not wasting my time here. I must not work to enjoy only. Arrghhh.. Seemed hard for someone playful like me actually
When all I thought was if I could do something else more meaningful, and things would be better
Perhaps is some weird crisis feelings going over me right now
Whatever it is, all the best lah~
One more, really really salute those that kept meeting bumps and still so so so determined!! I know who you are;) :*
Will keep learning!!!!

No longer finds it noble?

Either it's because of that or because I'm not that naive anymore in this field.. Alright I'm just babbling... I should learn and appreciate these rare chances Be thankful Be bold...

November days

Hullo!
Overheard in the radio today..DJ was saying: hello people..it's the eve of November already- have you decided where to go for a holiday?
No wor..wanted to have some holiday too but somehow my travel passion really gone down to drain at the moment..wondering because I felt older/ mature, or is it because of my current 'working' life which is so hectic.. and rushy..and pushy?

Looking back, it's really the end of the year.. so fast time flies
The fact that the duration of the time doesn't mean anything, but how have you passed it and how meaningful was it- remains the ultimate motive..
I was once motivated to think of how have i passed each week differently..but somehow i felt that those things that I've done were insufficient
Anyway, I did a wonderful thing today (or so called wonderful)
Shy shy also did something like 'that'
Was frightened, but I guess, at least I went through the moment
=)
Not telling here!! But I'm describing lah, in case you wanna know more..
My heart was really beating so fast due to unexpected expectations
For a moment, I wanted to give up
But then they pushed..and with their support, I went through it
I guess they were all feeling butterflies the same as mine somehow
Anyway, though it lasted for 3 mins, and there were mistakes done during that short time, I made it!!!
And boy, they were all laughing too..great encouragement lah..love you guys!! :D
So, I did something different today which I thought I wanted to but never had the courage enough
Hopefully more experiences after this:)
Anyway, good night and Hello november!!

Mice race

Feel like a mice racing in a wheel, and running along an entangled running track
Having lots of work bottleneck..it's like, everything seemed problematic and 'bluish'
Anyway, it has come to a point where I have that I-am-lost look and feel

But not giving up lah of course..I'll just have to figure out the right way..

Gambatte!!

P/s: craving for onion bun at this hour???? Though I've stopped having buns/ bread for sometime due to zzzzzzzzz feel...

So long~

More stringent exams

Today was the third time for me to witness Oral Defence for my another lab member
Somehow one of my thoughts were: if I could throw the tissue paper that I was holding to that whoever that asked so many irrelevant questions, I would!!!

The moment she finished her presentation, we were surprised with another new arranged event- an open Q and A session by one of the external invited examiners, who had prepared about 10 slides with very very unexpected questions and answers he had already known much more before he asked her.
We could feel the tense air around us.. According to him, it's his first time too..
Then they proceeded with another close Q and A session

Sigh

W-h-a-t-e-v-e-r-l-o-o-k

Anyway, as exepected, she passed!!! Already expected one..just that the process is really, urm, not good..
So long la~

Jigsaw puzzles of life

Life is like a board of jigsaw puzzles, with the hidden pieces everywhere..

Seriously, I feel that my current life is like a board of jigsaw puzzles..and the pictures are slowly drawn but the complete picture can never be seen

Finally, I've got what I wanted- after waiting and waiting for almost 1/2 year plus! Yay!! So glad to make it!! After planning for almost 2 years!!

Things just happens for a reason.. so, please believe it whole-'heartedly'..
It's weird but sometimes I feel that everything has its own momentum. It just cannot be rushed. For example, preparation for my exam. I was taking the last very minute and it's really the last minute to do it. Is it because of my lack of motivation or is it because I know it's just not time yet? Somehow, after this incident, I just believe that when it's time, it's just the time and will just happen?

Complicated yeah? And sounds insane and impossible and miraculous?
Probably I can't convey clearly the message here, but it's just something that has been on my mind for some time..

Now, next step, thinking of the future jigsaw patterns..

All the deadlines are rapidly rushing up.. Feel like a roller coaster at times
but kinda thankful and happy with most of it^^

I'm still looking for those missing pieces and slowly attaching it to the board!!

Life is an opportunity, grab it when you need to!!
So long~

Pic taken from here:)

Ganbatte!!!

Ganbatte to all that need it and to me also!!
Need to motivate myself, been lacking it lately..cham

This March month had been so hectic, and in a glimpse of time, it's going to end soon! I just can't deny how fast time flies. I think I've been long winded enough to mention this in my blog always (ya, always right?) and surprisingly, I've never uttered the opposing fact before- that time is so slowly ticking away.

So many things coming up, hopefully smooth smooth smooth..
Been rushing for many things since end of last year, it's like one after another lining up non stop. I predict (ahem!) that life will be as hectic as this months' bout 4 months from now on, or perhaps in September. Why do I feel so? I don't know, weird right? Let's see if my intuition is right again.

But I know there's plenty of plans during/ before that time too (but I'm sure not as busy as this month and since December 2010 happenings)- I'm referring to my work if you're wondering..loads of it lining up and i hope can produce it out soon!

Hopefully things are as expected- positive events lah:) so that all the plans will come in order. I have to rush up, time's flying.

By the way, as for the Japan's tsunami and nuclear plant disastrous event, it was something that really crushed my heart when I first saw it. Devastating, and it's telling us- life is short so treasure it to the max!! Do what you should do, want to do and most importantly, bear no regrets later.
The weather's getting very weird too. My colleague's hometown in Kunming, China was having a 24deg C a day before (last Tuesday) and snowed the following day!! So unimaginable is the weather, and it's just way too scary to think about it (I'm timid enough, forgive me for this..)
Before the Japan's tsunami on 11th March 2011, I was reading this article two days before only, and now that I get the updated news on this, I was not 'that' frightened/ superstitious anymore. Coz hor, the last time there were massive animals that died, something really bad happened after that. So it's just so devastating to read news like these..arrghh!

Anyway, my another message here is: Be courageous and bold enough, never turn back once you're determined- because life is too short to think over it and to waste time over it. Go on, keep moving forward because there might be a lot more of shooting stars out there waiting to be seen. Opportunities still come and go, so no worries.
'Kamparteh'!!

Better continue with my work.
All the best, buddies!!

Life's chicken essence- blasts after blasts until no feelings

Been having so much of shocking and saddening things lately that any bad thing that came by will be another blast for me.
I was initially planning a thorough, full labwork this week (especially these two days and coming one week. This work would be equivalent to about 3 weeks' work or my past 3 months' work when I frst started) since my current work is halted due to my another going-on stuffs.

But all the bad things before these weren't that heavy/ much until today, when I realised that I've finally broken my record here of having contaminated cells.. haihhhhhhhh!!! Whole half batch got this error..really record-breaking >.<
Never broken this record before!
Eee yerrr....

Was so disappointed..all my efforts wasted!
Worst is, I got so disappointed that it became a no-feeling thingy..
Like a feeling-less zombie..I walked around the lab and back to my table..

Luckily got this bunch of funny labmates around that my mood turned 180 degrees hours later.
But still.. almost any blasts that I know I'm already going through. Any more??
Perhaps I should mandi bunga, or whatever that can be done to go back to myself?
Help~~~!!!


By the way, these songs are really niceeee!!
Westlife's What About Now &;
Westlife's Leaving

The 'Leaving' song, really touching *sobs*
Haih...leaving~

So long laa...~

Memories- Dr Tong Chow Chin demise

Today marks one of the happiest day in many people's life as they can perform pranks on others.

But to me, it is a point that determines how fast time flies. How fragile life is and how we've always take things for granted.

It's already one year since one of my favourite lecturers had passed away due to the killing disease, leukemia.

I remember visiting him for the last time to get a letter from him, where he had carefully and genuinely well-prepared for me. Being a very considerate man (he was not feeling well when I met him), he told me to wait at the tables outside for better air circulation. We had a good chit chat while he was coughing halfway. I thought it was just some normal sickness. I never knew that it would be the last time for me to see him.

He always mentioned on his family, how his son and daughter are doing. I bet he must be a real proud dad :)

I even felt delighted when he shared the news that his daughter's in UPM studying medicine now. I hope she goes on strong there.

May he rest in peace. And may his family go on well too.

Today also marks the day I've realised how things go so not right.
The amount of work and effort and time wasted is definitely not worthwhile at all.

I hope there's still a glimpse of hope..
Being a pessimistic person very recently, I really wonder how long I can hang on..
Sigh

New semester

Sorry for not updating :P

Just came back from a hectic back-home visit..
Busy until my mom even complained : "how come so few hours at home?? and next time should take longer leave"
lol..
Coz we rushed to so many places within that few hours at home..
And again, we couldn't settle some stuffs but I'm leaving those to them to settle
=P

In fact got lotsa stuffs to blog but because I'm always stranded in my office.. (reasons :P) so I didn't bother to blog much..

This week is a new week for me..
New semester, new modules, new lecturers, new places to attend classes..and some classes are just located to farrrr away...that I got 'sesat'
And luckily my junior was there to guide me there :P

And really have to behave more 'guai'
I just realised that my juniors are learning everything from us (the so-called one-semester senior:P)
We were talking today on lab meetings and I accidentally mentioned that if we have classes to clash the meetings, then we'll skip the meetings
Then my junior actually said "so, I should take classes to purposely clash with the lab meetings right? You said one?? "

Aiks..
See la.. when blind leads the blind..
definitely all will end up in accidents.. (langgar walls)

Oh yeah.. in fact, I'm pretty shocked with how we all over here have to 'rampas' courses just like back in UPM..
Not to say being kiasu but I think we're slowly adopting that habit
Sigh
*still conscious*

But we were rewarded somehow with that rush
Seemed that we were lucky enough that we managed to squeeze into every module that we had registered.. and when we attended the classes, they were just so many students!! Reminds me of those undergraduate classes
What's more is that we'll see students approaching the lecturers and wondering whether they can still apply to attend those classes or not and yup, I was one of them too!

Imagine attending courses when the amount of students are just like during our undergraduates
# too many students dy
=.="

I'm looking forward to tonight's http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2009/8/13/nation/4512308&sec=nation (thanks YW!!) hopefully can see.. missed yesterday's one..:P
We see together la ha..hehe
Same sky..

So long~

Quick updates

I don't know why I'm lacking the 'rajin-ness' to blog more so I'll just quickly update this while I'm in the mood before sleeping.

I'm looking for a room now to move out for a more stable life. Otherwise, we'll have to worry on staying on every semester, reapplying, waiting for the results and etc etc (though I love this place sooo much!!)

My friend had gone for the kidney stone removal surgery and is doing fine, I hope. I'm constantly being updated with his current situation (which did scare me) because can't movelah, painlah, can't walk much, etc etc. And he's naming the stone "Stoney"..=.="
I'll get the picture uploaded later if it's nice..

And no fast food and seafood for him.
Bad right?
So, please drink more water! I'll have to remind myself that too, especially when I spend hours in lab and forget about food and drinks at times.

As for another recent news, I managed to pass a killer paper (sigh, I am hoping to pass exam modules at this level- feel so pathetic at times). The amount of time spent in studying this particular subject was quite intense, though it was quite a last-minute preparation (3 weeks- long dy actually; on and off with sleepless nights due to stuffs and lab work) and some of the people actually took less than a week!

I later found out that most of what we were studying for the past torturing semester were covered in their undergraduate courses here. Wah loaa..

So, this leads me to this conclusion: are we not that capable or are their standard so that high??

Now is another worry on pushing up my grades..
But I don't wanna care much dy, not right now..

Busy week

Boss just gave me another 20 papers to read =.="

We have a very, very important audit next Monday and Tuesday, which we had files and procedures to read. Furthermore, we have mock audit almost every week because of this.

Just came back from another meeting.

My experiments have not been going that well also..though I've spent almost 12 hours in lab everyday
I wonder how long do I need to learn and perform better..

Been so blur with all these..wish I could have a more efficient speed in everything somehow
Really feel like a snail at times..

Exams and home

Exams coming up next week
And I'm eating a piece of chocolate everyday
Really bad..

Will be back after I come back from home..
Lots of things to post up but feel lethargic
Hope I'll regain the strength again soon

First WB!

WB= western blot

Been in the lab for many weeks and this week, I get to learn and perform this! It involves a series of procedures to detect proteins of small molecular weights. Ah..forget the principle..

I did this!! And my senior said the bands looked nice! =D
Worth the full one-day effort for today.
But this will be continued on Monday for further blottings and detections. Then, it would be showed to my boss =.=""

Blue circle indicate 'unseen' proteins at the moment. Red circle is the marker (to find out the size of the proteins that I will be detecting on Monday)

What's nicer is I get to bury it! in ice;)


And this will be one of the routine work for me later on..

Read journals agAinN...

Journals reading..
Have to speed up!
Now, I feel like aged crawling turtle looking for food.
Step by step.
Hours by hours..
Gonna be a looong journey ahead *squinting eyes for food source*
The good thing is, I managed to understand what the first presenter was talking today on her project.
But the following presenters..*ahem*

After classes and meeting, I called my aunt.

Sigh..

Hopefully you're recovering very soon, grandma!
My supports with you! You'd be fine soon!
Miss you a lot.

Journal reading session

Been reading journal for hours yesterday and continuing now, specifically A journal for few hours, but nothing much came to my understanding.

Forcing myself to read the same paragraph again and again and finally, I'm at the 10th page. Yay!!! Out of the 11 pages:D

A sense of accomplishment..hehe

But if you ask me to explain the paper to you- I still can't do it=.=

Gone are my efforts..
:P

Confusion

Have you ever been in a state of confusion? No no...not the normal confused thingy. This is the T-O-T-A-L confusion one! It's like trying to understand how aliens try to talk to us.

Today I had the courtesy of joining a meeting with my supervisor and his research team. And yes, that includes me..the newbie..hehe
Each of them had a great talk on their current project with the great researcher from Korea, and I was there- trying very hard to understand whatever they were talking about, but I was unsuccessful. Sob sob..

What's more, 99% of the terms that they had mentioned were never in my list of vocabulary before. =.=

Words like AK2, cascade, Apaf, G2, shRNA, etoposide, Bcl-2, AFAC 10, AIF, Y2H..yeah yeah..and the list goes on. And while he was presenting his research, I was there, feeling like hanging on a rope (which is like going to break!)and will fall down a 100-storey building deciding on how interesting this project going to be.

Suddenly, it strikes me that I am a different species of bird trying to join a flock of birds. You know, the phrase- birds of a feather flock together? Yeah..imagine that they're the swan and I'm the duck. Yes yes..quack quackkk!

In the question and answer session, only those who knew what was he talking about asked questions. And so and so.. And ducks like me tend to feel isolated. In the lake of my own. It's okay, I have my own lake at the moment before joining theirs. *winks*