Lessons of life as you grow riper than before:
1. You must not grow to be more stubborn. Listen to advices.
- Do you remember how often you asked Aunt Joyce to stop taking cold, sweet Pokka green tea? A sip is still hazardous. Do you remember how many continuous hours of sleep she had after she took one-two sips only? Do you remember the NOTES that you left on her fridge?? God doesn't help those that don't help themselves??
2. You must continuously be happy.
- Yes, I know it's hard to be happy always, but be positive and be motivated! If you want to die, please don't bring troubles to others. Be happy, and everyone around you would be much happier.
3. You must know how to take care of yourself, and of others by this age.
- People say when we grow older, we become more childish, or was it- can't be bothered actually? (P/S: I wish I am able to do some research on this! =.=" oh well, neurology is definitely not my field!) If you want to bring less troubles to people, learn to take good care of yourself.
4. Go to the homes, if you think you should. You will not die so fast if you're continuously happy over at the homes, should you be there one day. Don't argue with everyone saying you're capable.
- Do I need to say more? I hope you're not having dementia by then and don't remember these! There's no such thing as leaving the homes only one says goodbye. It's not a jail, really. it may look like one, but it isn't at all. Going there is better than staying at home. It worries other people, such as me who is more busybody than anyone else.
5. Give more, and give without receiving is the greatest happiness of all. Forgive everyone.
- Life may be tough, but trust me, you'd be as happy as the dogs that you've seen in NANAS Singapore in Johor that you went earlier yesterday, rolling over the horses' kennels and irritating the horses to the point that *grin*, the horses had to stomp their feet and whined to complain or sigh loudly!
- There'll be relatives that forget you and can't forgive of what you've done in the past (of the scary stories that I heard earlier and don't know if it is ever validated) and if that happens, plan for your own future! (Sigh, I hope mine is never like that in future; leaving the tenant hopeless to find for help if something worse is bound to happen again) Forgive everyone and don't remember the bad things only.
But of all these points, I've realised that my threshold have reached. I can't be responsible for bigger events anymore as it really scares me, as I know her relatives are hopeless. My mom told me to do more charity as she said it's better than doing any other charity. I agree with her, but at the same time, I also know my limits and capabilities as well.
To be truth, I do without expectations (that's why I enjoyed myself tremendously in SPCA though I am a bit afraid of big, wild dogs despite my fondness for dogs: urgh); but for someone like her whom I hold no authority at all...it is a truly terrifying and tiring experience for me. I at least expect her relatives to be alert and care for her more (Well, I really insulted some of her relatives because they asked really brainless questions like: "Must she really be sent to the hospital?";"Was it really serious?""Oh, I can't see her tomorrow" (End-to-end, hospitalization is all about money and they were being practically cautious to stay away from all sorts of troubles or money matters, and probably they hope that one is not told at all or do not know anything on these at all) --> Selfish people='(
Say I'm timid, but really, I'll just do my best before leaving. Post-leaving this comfy rented room, I hope to hear better news but feelings negatively say so.
It's also entirely different from a case whereby: if something is bound to happen, and I will have the urge to straight contact her who-and-who immediately because I know they're RELIABLE and not selfish, cold-blooded, brainless or money-minded in any way. You know, when she was sent to the A & E, I actually can't be bothered to tell her sister at all despite my mom keep telling me to inform her at that moment; because I know it's plain hopeless. I did anyway and only to mentally vomit blood later with her response (Yes I am hot-tempered when it comes to things that I can't see go through fairly or well).
If they supported me thoroughly, I wouldn't be so depress when dealing with these. Well, things always happen for a reason. And this brings me to another last-but-not-least-lesson-of-the-day:
6. Things really happen for a reason. Always bear this in mind!
- On the surface, things may look really ugly but there's always a glitter of positivity when a negative issue surfaces.
- Coincidentally, all these re-surfacing problems are telling me now that despite feeling so tired with all these (plus the seem-so-far-to-end-workload before I see the real sunrise), it's also a point to know that I should move on to a better place. Every single close friend that are aware of my current life had told me these for sometime but I was just too lazy or probably, too comfy to be more hardworking to do this :| (Yes, blame myself for my procrastination!)
I really hope to find own home by now but sadly, I'm incapable to do so at this moment (BIG SIGH!). Well, it's just not time yet. Be patient gal!!
Anyway, remember these hard lessons, please!
So long~
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